Originally published October 2021.
In the Spring of 2021, I wrote an entire book in secret. I kept this diary to document the process and remind myself what it was like. My book, A Single Revolution: Don’t look for a match. Light one. is available here. It was written for single women because I don’t think we deserve society’s shame or a fruitless and punishing dating culture, but we’re getting them anyway. This book is hopefully the antidote to both.
I have no idea if anyone will read all of this, I had no idea how much it would grow or how much I’d want to say. But I like that it’s here, helping me remember how things started. If nothing else I’ll have a benchmark for being less of a newb in the future. I guess one main benefit of keeping this diary is that if you’re reading it, and you’re considering self-publishing a book, I hope the main takeaway you get from this is: you should.
What you need to know beforehand: In March of 2021, I got my final rejection from a publisher following my second book proposal and third year of trying to be a published author. After that, through some very fortuitous moments and conversations, I was introduced to a company that helps self-published authors publish their books by taking care of all the heavy lifting of publishing so the authors themselves can just write. By the end of March, my book was fully outlined and I’d begun writing, but I really started writing in earnest on April 10th, five days after the death of my beloved cat and truest companion for 12 years. We all deal with grief in our own ways. I wrote a book. Quickly. I started keeping this diary a few days later.
Diary:
April 13th, 2021: Today I had my first call with Scribe Media. I’ve decided to stop waiting for traditional publishing to pull its head out of its ass and validate me with a book deal. I’ve decided to validate myself. And also, you know…make money doing what I love. I’m tired of waiting for someone else’s permission to work. Let’s fucking go.
April 14th, 2021: All the boys in my WhatsApp and three very close girlfriends of mine all seem on board. No one else knows this is happening. Overall I don’t know if anyone but me realizes what a big deal this is. I’m also just now realizing that I’m about to do a shitload of work in secret. I think that’s why I’m keeping this diary, so that one day if anyone asks what it was like, I have a link to share.
April 16th, 2021: I’m working much longer days than I’m used to, because I’m writing an entire book while also trying to earn a living, but it finally feels like I’m creating something that’s needed to exist for a long time. I’m writing this fucking book. For reference, I already had the introduction and Chapter 1 written for the book proposal that no one wanted, and I’d also outlined the rest of the book. (Though this outline changed wildly before I actually got started.) So what happens now is basically if I’m conscious, I’m writing. This is really where being an absolute beast at working is going to be greatly to my benefit. I knew it had to be good for something.
April 20th, 2021: 50K words down, 20K to go. This…this feels like a lot. I reached out to a fellow author/friend of mine to commiserate, she confirmed that this is indeed very, very hard. I feel better now. Back to work.
April 27th, 2021: 70,000 words. I did it.
April 29th, 2021: I signed with Scribe today. I really just agreed to pay someone ten thousand dollars. [I would later pay $2K more for word count overage.] Also this is the first time I’ve gone back to look at the other diary entries and I was 100% too busy to describe how hard writing a book in a month actually was. Maybe for the best so I’ll forget and write a second one someday. Is this how having kids works?
April 30th, 2021: Just paid Scribe. It’s the most money I’ve ever spent at once if you don’t count law school (I will never count law school), and it was also oddly easy. Like I wasn’t scared of the investment at all. I was just so excited to create a book. I already want to do another one. Typically I can’t check out at Target without sweating about the cost. Shoutout to 2018 Shani who developed strong savings habits and worked her ass off at jobs she didn’t want so that I could afford to do this without giving myself a goddamned heart attack.
May 4th, 2021: I finished my first full edit, one more to go before I turn in my manuscript. Scribe will have it’s suggestions and clean up my (plentiful) errors but really, I’m one run-through away from done and no one knows I’ve even written it. This is wild. Wonder how long I’ll have to keep this a secret. I think this is why I’m so glad I’m keeping a diary, so readers know this didn’t come out of nowhere. It came out of 13 years of singlehood, a shitton of personal growth, and many many months of fighting urges to spill beans.
May 5th, 2021: Do selfies count as author photos?
May 12th, 2021: I submitted the manuscript two days ago. I think I was too tired/delirious to make a note of it then but I did drink a bottle of champagne and dance around my house like a happy squirrel on its hinds legs for awhile. Now to asses my life and find out what I’ve been ignoring for the last month. Oh also, while all of this has been happening, I’ve been planning a cross-country move to New Orleans. Casual.
May 28th, 2021: Still waiting to have my first call with my Scribe Publishing Manager. There is a four week waiting period from the date I sign with them before anything begins (I think so they can read my manuscript) and now I’m waiting one additional week to get a spot on her calendar for our call. So five weeks from the date I submitted my manuscript, I’m going to have my first call with Scribe that hopefully clarifies this process and starts things moving forward. Because I don’t know about you but when a manuscript is finished in May of 2021 I really don’t want to have to wait until 2022 to hold a book in my hands. Just saying. Anyway, I hate waiting. Also while I’ve been waiting I’ve been relentlessly searching for (and thank heaven finding) my new home in New Orleans. I move in 33 days. Also I miss my dead cat quite a bit. Okay that’s all for now.
June 1st, 2021: On the Friday afternoon of Memorial Day weekend, as I was driving upstate for a few days away from my desk, I received the “manuscript evaluation” from Scribe. While I appreciate the effort that went into evaluating my work, the evaluation of a book written to change the minds of single women was critiqued by two married men with children. I won’t get angry here, but let’s just say I have thoughts. I’ll be taking some of their suggestions and leaving others. That’s what I’ll say about that. It actually feels fucking amazing to know that I am the captain of this ship, not someone else. I don’t have to make these edits, and I don’t have to turn this book into what anyone else wants. I can do this entire thing my way, which was very much the point of even starting this process.
June 4th, 2021: Had an amazing call with my publishing manager yesterday, told her I’d be editing the book myself instead of using a Scribe editor. I spent a huge portion of the last week being so stressed and angry about the feedback I got and then I was just able to say “yeah no, I’m not taking their notes, this is my book.” It felt really good. I don’t know if there’s a “right way” to write a book, but there’s a my way, that’s for damned sure.
June 7th, 2021: Had a workshop with Scribe’s title/subtitle person. I feel like we nailed it?
June 8th, 2021: Right, I forgot how much editing a whole-ass book sucks because I haven’t read through this thing in a month. I literally take breaks from editing by packing boxes. It dawned on me today how much I’m doing that nobody knows about. It makes me feel kind of exhausted but in a good way if that makes sense? I love the idea that my final edit will be done in a few days. I say final, I feel like nothing is final until I’m holding a book in my hands but what do I know. It’s my first rodeo. Okay enough break time, back to it.
Later that day: I’m taking a break by scrolling through Twitter (don’t judge my choices) and all these other authors are interacting and I can’t tell anyone I’m an author yet and I feel left out. Or maybe I’m just tired. Today’s a hard day. It’s fine.
June 18th: Two additional full edits of 70,000 words later (I’ve now done this four times for those counting), here we are. Mildly hungover and feeling oddly in disbelief. I mean was I supposed to throw a party after my final edits? Were those even my final edits? I can’t wait to write my second book once I know these ropes a bit better. I am enjoying my experience with Scribe but I also wish they’d give me like a timeline of some sort up front? It’s like I never know what’s coming next until I’ve done the task at hand, like each component of the quest unlocks information about the next one. I need to see the whole picture and I don’t feel like I have that, but maybe I can talk to Scribe and sort that out. [Spoiler, I did, and felt much better.] Anyway, my manuscript is submitted following the last edits I intend to make (I’m assuming I’ll have to approve all of the proofreader’s edits at some point too), and what’s also fun is that I’ve filled out a little cover design form (that I didn’t find all that helpful as I have a full mockup that I’ve already designed and a page of notes for the designer) and now I wait two weeks to be matched with the designer that will design my book’s cover. I am pretty set on the mockup I came up with but I’m really looking forward to seeing a “real” version of this, you know? Right now it’s just me awkwardly cut and pasting stuff into a Word document. My movers are also coming in a week. Help.
June 23rd 2020: Had the wildest call with my publishing manager yesterday. She walked me through the remainder of the publishing process which was SO helpful and grounding. I feel like I know where we go from here which is really helpful once you’ve written an entire book, paid $10K (and now owe an additional $2K due to length), and have no idea what comes next. We got into some of the fun details like trim size, cover texture, etc, but the best part—she told me my estimated publishing date: October 26, 2021. (This might change.) I cried. Literally cried on Zoom. I no longer feel like I’m waiting into infinity to publish a book I’m proud of, to become the thing I’ve always wanted to be—an author. It’s a strange thing, to see your life’s biggest dream have a calendar reminder. Not for nothing if I have a book born on the Libra/Scorpio cusp that will be so on brand for her. I also move across the country in seven days, my movers are coming in two days, and there’s a whole thing with the couch that I won’t get into.
July 10th, 2021: I haven’t made notes here in awhile because I moved across the country and it’s been one of the roughest few week’s I’ve had in years. My belongings were picked up by my moronic moving company on June 25th and I still don’t have them [I wouldn’t have them until July 28th], and today was the final day of the delivery window. Long story, I’ll rip them apart in an essay, don’t fuck with writers. ANYWAY, I’m journaling here because yesterday I saw the first round of cover design options. I did this thing I thought would be super cute, I filmed myself so I could use my reaction video as book promo later, but I was so horrified by the cover options that I deleted the video. I gave the designer a mockup cover and said “make this” and then she didn’t make that. I gave her incredibly explicit feedback and I’m hoping for something awesome coming out of round two. One thing I will say at this point, and probably in more detail later, is that if you’re going to work with a self publishing company, don’t rely on them to be at the creative helm. You’re self publishing for a reason, and you’re paying to self publish for a reason. You’re in charge, so be in charge. The more clear and direct you are on your vision for the book, the better off you’ll be. As the cover is being designed, it’s also going through quality assurance proofreading. After that I’ll review the proofreader’s changes and then I think…I’m done?
July 12th, 2021: Cover edits are looking so good, it’s so wild to look at something and feel like that’s my book. You know you like the design when you’re already pricing out what it will cost to get it blown up to a poster size.
July 14th, 2021: Cover is locked, I’m in love with it. It’s giving me Wes Anderson/Valley of the Dolls, I live.
July 15th, 2021: My movers still aren’t here, for those keeping track, and three weeks of waiting to unpack and not being able to gives you time to think. I’m starting to put together marketing plans for the book. While Scribe does host monthly marketing calls where authors can ask questions (the first one they’ve ever done was today) I’m pretty much on my own when it comes to marketing the book. Which is fine because even publishers now rely on authors to sell the shit out of their work. I’m hoping to have everything buttoned up and prepped before the end of August, and I intend to tell my audience I even WROTE this thing in the first place on September 7th. I’ll have a page set up to capture emails so that I can let everyone know when it goes on sale.
August 3rd, 2021: Hooboy it’s been awhile. On the book side, we’re in the QA phase, so I’m basically just waiting for a proofreader to show me all my mistakes and hopefully not demolish my self esteem in the process. Personally, my moving truck finally arrived (one month late) and I only had to take a Xanax once. I’m now fully unpacked and as settled as someone with anxiety can feel after a 1.5-month long cross country move from hell. But, now that all the hardest parts are done, I can finally focus on marketing and promotions strategies for the book. While I was sitting in an empty house for an entire month, I watched pretty much all of Scribe’s videos on the topic, and I’m feeling good about having an entire month to plan. Right now, my goal is to announce the book on September 7th, the day after Labor Day.
August 10th, 2021: The book came back from the copyeditor yesterday. While I wish it could have been cleaned for commas and washed of my unnecessary dedication to certain fragmented sentence structures, I’m finding that so many words were needlessly changed. I’m essentially reading my book side-by-side between my copy and the edited copy, putting my words back where they’ve been erased. No matter. This is my book, it’s going to sound like it.
Later that day: Honestly I do not understand copy editing. Why are we inserting full words out of nowhere into my words?! I didn’t want that word there! Something I’m learning for next time is to make notes for the copy editor as I edit my own manuscript before I submit it, and go through them with the copy editor prior to their process. I’m spending a lot of time putting things back the way they were that is wasted effort on both our parts.
Even later that day: Jesus this entire project is just me replacing stolen commas. I will most certainly approach the copy editing phase of the book differently next time, and give very explicit instructions to Scribe. (I will 100% work with them again by the way, this is not me bitching about them per se, this is more to do with my own inexperience with this process.)
August 13th, 2021: Yesterday I completed my (arduous, Jesus Christ) review of all proposed copy changes. I put things back the way I wanted them while silently praising the copyeditor for having better grammar than me. Than I? Me? Whatever. The next step is for the proofreader to review the manuscript, then I’ll get it back for my final, no really this time FINAL review. I’ve given the proofreader extremely strict instructions to correct ERRORS ONLY, I’m uninterested in hearing yet another person’s stylistic opinions on a book I’m paying $12K to publish myself. That’s the best thing about this whole process I think, knowing that I am the one in charge, I don’t have to change who or what I am to please other people, and the book that will be read will say exactly what I mean for it to say. I’ll write more on this later, but for someone as creatively controlling as me, two years of publisher rejections (or was it three) just might have been the greatest gift of my life.
August 19th, 2021: Doing a lot of prep for PR/promotions these days. I have a loooong list of to-dos that I’d like to have prepped by announcement day, which is looking to be September 7th. I’ve never been great at “selling myself” but as my best friend has recently told me in no uncertain terms, I need to get over that. It also kind of feels like preparing for a baby. Like, I can prep all I want to, but do I have any idea what it’s like to have a book out in the world and manage marketing/promotions/audience interactions all on my own? Very much no. Planning to do as much prep as I can that’s as informed as it can be, and after that it will be a learning experience.
August 21st, 2021: Finalized the full cover layouts for both hardcover and paperback yesterday. This is starting to feel like a BOOK. I recorded my first podcast episode that will air after I’ve already made the book announcement, it was wild talking about it in normal, non-secretive conversation.
August 31st, 2021: Welp. It looks like I’ll be making my book announcement while evacuated from Hurricane Ida. I left New Orleans early in the morning on August 28th and I’ve been in Montgomery, Alabama ever since. I’ll be prepping all book announcements and podcast episodes from a hotel room but literally nothing, not even an act of Mother Nature, will stop me from living this dream.
September 2nd: Had a call with my publishing manager from my Alabama hotel room and then recorded my announcement podcast episode with no microphone will sitting on a bed. None of this looks or feels the way I thought it would but that’s been true of the entire book process so why the fuck not? I am still moving forward with a September 7th public announcement of my book and Ida can’t do shit about it.
September 5th: Today, while still evacuated, I posted a teaser video to my Instagram hinting at big news. I let my audience guess what it is and almost 100% of them are guessing correctly. Can you tell it was time for me to write a book? Looks like I’ll be formally announcing the book on the same day I return home to New Orleans. Not a bad way to spend a Tuesday.
September 6th: I told all of my Patrons today. They are so excited. I cry.
September 8th: Yesterday was the day I told EVERYONE about the book. It was also the day I came home from a hurricane displacement. It was a surreal experience, packing up 11 days of supplies and dirty clothes while DMs of excitement and congratulations came in.
September 15th: I came home from a hurricane evacuation, and the response to my book has been incredibly positive. Right now I’m asking everyone to sign up for my email list via my website in order to be notified of my publication day when they can buy the book. I’ve been advised by Scribe to NOT promote presale. Seems counterintuitive, but apparently a high volume of sales in a short amount of time is best for getting yourself on Amazon Best Seller Lists (NYT best seller lists work differently and usually don’t include self-published authors, so I’m not even worrying about it). So as far as anyone’s going to know, 10/26/21 is the day to buy the book. As for me, I’m patiently waiting for my book to go through the layout process so I can finally hold it in my hands. Forty one days until I’m a published author. Starting to book some podcasts to promote it. :)
October 4th, 2021: So we’re in the waiting bit. The book is done, done, and at the moment there’s actually very little I can do about it. I have been reaching out to podcast hosts to pitch myself as a guest, but thus far I’m only finding success in returning to podcasts that have already had me on before. There actually hasn’t been much response at all to the emails I’ve sent out in support of the book, and lately I’ve been trying to ask myself what that means. I think it means that the book itself is going to be its biggest advocate, and it will be easier to book press, etc once she’s out in the world and kicking. Because let me tell you, she kicks. This week I’m also going to be gathering contact information for local bookstores in markets where I have the most podcast listeners, so that once the book is released I can reach out and see if they’d like to carry it. Self publishing is a very Amazon-focused endeavor, and I’d really like for there to be local options for people as well. It’ll be very DIY but it’s worth the effort. (You can also reach out to your own local bookstore and ask them to carry it if you’d like!) My book comes out in 22 days. Holy shit.
October 13th: The book comes out two weeks from yesterday. At this point it’s a lot of behind the scenes stuff, Scribe is uploading my book to various ordering platforms, etc. BUT one cool thing: I was able to order a few copies of book in hardcover today, and one of them is going to be donated to the library I went to when I was a kid. Life is wild.
October 19th: My god, it comes out in one week. Do I even have the slightest idea how to promote a book? I’ve always had the feeling that I’m not alone in doing that, that the book itself is going to help me, but that’s often been dismissed as an incorrect strategy. Looking forward to proving the world wrong in seven days. This book is really good. Let’s go.
October 20th: Included in Scribe’s fees are 50 paperback copies of my book. I think…I think they arrive today. I’ve never held my book before.
October 21: My book arrived yesterday, sorry for not updating this on the day, I was a bit distracted to say the VERY LEAST. She’s gorgeous, let’s start there. The book came out so beautifully, I’m absolutely beside myself. I’m terrified to read it lest I find a typo, but my god what a gift it is to hold a book you wrote. I’m SO HAPPY with the cover texture, the paper color, the fonts, everything. She’s also like…kind of heavy and I love that for her. I’ve only held the paperback, hardcover is still on her way to me. I still can’t believe there’s a box of 50 of these things in side my house.
October 25th: My book’s official launch day is tomorrow. There’s no diary left to keep. It’s here, I did it. After decades of wanting to do something, I did it. While I have no idea what comes next, I know what comes now. Now is when I help people. Now is when they read what I wrote and hopefully feel seen, hopefully they feel better and more secure in their singlehood as they move through the world. I learned how, and it feels so good I had to write a whole book about it, even though no one would validate me by publishing it for me. Validate yourself. You decide when you’re “chosen,” not other people. Do what you’re here on Earth to do. There is no “can’t” anymore.
xo, Shani
Buy A Single Revolution: Don’t look for a match—light one, right here.